I mean no disrespect when I say this, but I have to admit; baseball players, in general, are not the sharpest tools in the shed.
On Oct. 13, less than 24 hours before the start of the ALCS, Cleveland Indians’ starter Trevor Bauer became the latest in a long line of baseball idiots, when he, attempting to repair one of his drones, ended up in the emergency room after nearly slicing off his pinky. After receiving stiches, Bauer had to miss his scheduled Game 2 start on Saturday, and opted to give it a go two days later when he took the hill in Game 3.
He would last just four batters into the start as his stitches came undone, leading to a bizarre—and bloody—scene on the mound.
But while fans and media members have had some fun with Bauer’s situation over the last few days—the Indians still won, thanks to a tremendous effort by their bullpen—it’s important to remember that the Cleveland righty isn’t the first casualty in stupidity’s war against baseball players.
In fact, baseball has a long, storied history of bizarre injuries, which have—to certain fans like myself—become as much a part of the history of the game as Babe Ruth’s called shot.
Of course, the gold standard of stupid baseball injuries belongs to Braves’ Hall of Famer John Smoltz, who missed a start in 1990 after receiving burns from ironing his shirt—while he was still wearing it.
But even though Smoltz has since claimed that the story was false—let’s be clear, he was quoted in the Atlanta Journal Constitution by beat writer Joe Strauss discussing said injury—it doesn’t mean that Bauer isn’t the only player in this year’s postseason who has his own story to tell.
Chris Coghlan, who currently comes off the bench for the Chicago Cubs, has a story. In 2010, while playing for the then-Florida Marlins, Coghlan chased down teammate Wes Helms, who had just given the Marlins a walk-off win with a bases-loaded pinch hit single, in order to serve a celebratory pie into Helms’ face. The result for Coghlan? A slip, a torn meniscus, and season-ending surgery.
Not to be outdone by his NLCS foe is Los Angeles Dodgers’ pitching coach Rick Honeycutt, who was once ejected in a 1980 game for pitching with a small thumbtack taped to his hand. While Honeycutt sought to use the thumbtack’s sharp point to scuff up the baseball, he soon found another unintended use for the foreign object; as he left the field, he wiped his hand across his brow, opening a large gash on his forehead.
No doubt the Dodgers’ staff has much to learn from the old left-hander.
As of press time, the Indians hold a 3-1 ALCS lead and look for all intents and purposes to be headed to the World Series. Whether Bauer starts another game into the postseason or not, if the Indians can somehow manage to win their first World Series title since 1948, “propellergate” will simply turn into another funny-but-true footnote in the annals of baseball lore.
If Cleveland falls short, however, and the Indians’ starting pitching falters down the stretch?
Well then, you can expect Tribe fans to drone on about this one for a long, long time.
